If you look around, science is everywhere. For example, Einstein had a theory of relativity stating that two events, simultaneous for some observer, may not be simultaneous for another observer if the observers are in relative motion.
Confusing? Let me break that down for you.
For example, consider Ryan and Tiffany. Imagine that they drive to the local grocery store, intent on picking up three items: milk, bread, and eggs. Imagine that Tiffany volunteers to go inside to purchase the items and that Ryan stays in the car. Now imagine that there is a scientist parked next to the car with a stopwatch observing their behaviors. Imagine that Tiffany exits the car at 6:00 p.m. and at that the scientist begins his stopwatch at that moment.
Are you with me? Are you still awake? Hello? Hello?
Imagine that a short while later, Tiffany walks out of the store. When she reaches the car, the scientist stops his watch and records that she has been gone for fifteen minutes and that she has eight items in her bag: milk, bread, eggs, a gossip magazine, swirly straws, Craisins, refried beans, and a bag of jelly beans.
The scientist records the following communication:
Ryan: “Oh my gosh, what took SO long? You’ve been gone for forty-five minutes!”
Tiffany: “What are you talking about? I’ve been gone for ten minutes.”
Ryan: “No, we got here at about 5:30 and you’ve been in there shopping for at least fifty minutes.”
Tiffany: “We did not get here at 5:30.”
Ryan: “I watched thirty-six people leave the store since you went in. We’ve been here at least fifty-five minutes.”
Tiffany: “Ryan, I walked in the store. I picked up our three items, paid for them, and walked out. I was gone for five minutes.”
Ryan: “Three items? Why do you have five bags? You do this every time. You get in there and start shopping; then an hour later, you wander out.”
Tiffany: “OK, so I picked up TWO extra things that I remembered we NEEDED, but it didn’t take me long. I was in the store for three minutes TOPS.”
Ryan: “It was at LEAST an hour and fifteen minutes.”
Tiffany: “Why is that man in the car next to us wearing a lab coat and writing down everything we say?”
At this point the scientist quickly closes his notebook, starts his car and leaves. He drives straight home, a five minute drive. When he gets home, he walks in the door to find his wife with her hands on her hips.
“Stanley, where have you BEEN?” she says.
“What are you talking about Edna? I told you I was stopping at the grocery store on the way home from the lab to record a quick observation.”
“Right, you called me on your way there. You said it would take FIFTEEN minutes. That was three hours ago, at LEAST.”
Too funny. And men are such babies!
You make me laugh like no other. Which gossip magazine? Anything good?
When I was a kid I hated standing in line with my dad anywhere. Because once he very loudly explained an alleged “study” to anyone within ear shot about how if you ask people how long they have been standing in line, the number grows exponentially the longer they wait. Like, if it is 2 minutes people will say 5 but if it has been 10 minutes they will claim it has been half an hour. That “study” must be based on this little Einstein theory.
best post EVER! I have to share this w/my husband- it’s soooo us. Thanks for the laughs this morning!
You did it again. NOw I’m wondering if it’s a comic strip you need rather than a column.
Why are you going to the store with Ryan in the first place? I think you know better.
That’s funny. Natalie always says that I take forever when I try on clothes at the D.I. or wherever. But I think that SHE takes forever when trying on clothes.
This is great! I’m sure Hubby and I will have this problem when we’ve been married a bit longer, but for now he’s happy to stay in the car while I shop because he hates shopping.
So familiar and very funny. As usual.
Funny.
I refuse to let Randy go shopping with me. He pouts too much. On the flip…I hate going to Sportsman’s. I pout too much.
I’ll never forget the first time Dan and I shopped as a married couple. He kept saying, “We don’t need this…why are you getting that?” That was the last time I ever let him come with me!!! BTW, I have a tendency of over shopping…I have just a few items I know we need, but then I’ll see a bunch of stuff that just sounds good; so by the time I get out of the store I have a whole weeks worth of food. Thanks for the laugh!
I can’t help thinking how great would it have been to have albert einstien as a grandpa?
-the coolest thanksgivings EVER
Hahaha! That’s why we never stop at the store and let the other one run in without the proper equipment. AKA an iTouch with lots of games and movies on it. Then the conversation goes like this: “You’re back already? I just got through the opening credits! Dang.”
Seriously hilarious post. A friend introduced me to your blog; please consider me your newest fan/stalker! Thanks for the laughs.