It’s true. However, before you call The Enquirer I should say that I’m talking about six collective years of pregnancy. Let’s do the math, shall we?
1 pregnancy = 9 months
8 pregnancies = 72 months
72 months divided by 12 = 6 years
YOWZA!
This is a picture of all of my parents’ original seed.
(Top row, left to right: John, James, Dad, Mom, Jesse, April. Bottom row: Dave, Me, Leslie, Justin)
The funny thing is, when I look at this picture, I think we look like such a small family. Really? That’s all of us? I say to myself because our family is so much, much MUCH bigger now. First my parents begat eight kids and then all of the kids started growing up and begetting and we now total 42, soon to be 43 next month.
I’ve been asked before what it was like to grow up in a big family, but I think it’s a funny question because I never had anything to compare to it. And even though eight kids is a lot, we weren’t big news or anything; there were several other big families around. I will say, however, that I seem to have a much higher tolerance level for large, loud groups than Ryan.
My childhood was happy and free from any serious trauma. I adored my older siblings, secretly wanting to be grown up and cool like them, and I bossed around my younger brothers whenever my mom was left with no other choice but to leave me in charge for a few minutes. My parents were wise, loving figures who raised us with their strong values. In fact, I blame them entirely for the fact that I haven’t written a bestselling novel—my childhood was just way too happy and normal. As a writer, I really got screwed.
{Sigh.}
For a special treat, I interviewed my mom regarding this subject. After all, she’s the star of this post. I think you’ll enjoy her answers as much as I did.
Me: What if your kids had been octuplets instead of eight different pregnancies?
Mom: How would life have been different? You would have been raised by a different mother and one day your father would have felt the need to bring you to the institution where I had been housed during your growing up years so you could meet your real mom.
Me: Do you have any thoughts about the controversial octuplet mama in California?
Mom: If as the story goes, she is depending on her mom to care for her 14 children while she finishes school, she should have included her in the decision. The fact that she had 6 embryos implanted seems extreme. Let’s hope she doesn’t become the poster child for limiting population and regulating even that portion of our lives.
Me: Let me take you back to 1983 when we all lived at home. What do you miss the most about that time?
Mom: I miss that season when, even though we had teenagers, there were still many times when we all spent family time together – especially our boating trips, but also just at-home times. You were all such good kids and you all seemed to look up to the older kids and enjoy the little ones. You were 6 that year. I still remember the t-shirt we bought for you that said, “I must hurry and catch up with the others for I am their leader.”
Me: What do you miss the least?
Mom: The rough-housing of the older boys that went from fun to not-so-fun when someone would get hurt.
Me: What was it like being pregnant for six (collective) years?
Mom: I would take that any day over multiple births. I had very normal pregnancies and other than feeling less energy (like during the first trimester I probably could have slept all day if given the chance), I was never sick.
Me: Did you ever receive any direct or indirect criticism for having so many kids?
Mom: Two times come to mind. The first was when we only had five. We had gone home to visit family in California and we got a lot of looks and a few comments. The other time was when [an old neighbor] told me that when God said to multiply and replenish the earth he wasn’t expecting me to do it all by myself.
Me: What did you worry about most as a young mother?
Mom: I believe the statement that you are only as happy as your saddest child is true. I’m not talking about the little skermishes of childhood necessarily, but the real hurts, disappointments, and possible consequences of choices made against your better judgment. I worried a lot when any of you were sick with high fevers, croup, earaches. It is amazing to me even now that none of you ever broke a bone. That may have been the result of being confined to your rooms until you were 18. What do you think?
Me: When are you going to let Lyle (my imaginary brother) out of the basement?
Mom: As soon as he fixes the foundation so we don’t get water in heavy rains. I’ve always told him those were the terms, but you know Lyle.
Thanks, Mom! You continue to be steady influence for good in my life. I don’t know how you did it, but I’m sure glad you did.
Ah, this was wonderful! I love you! And I love mom and dad! They really did an amazing job.
Sorry you got screwed as a writer in the home department. I totally should have messed with your mind for all those years, then you could write a best-seller!
Thanks for doing this.
And, you still think Lyle is imaginary??
That was fun. I did break at least one pinkie finger as well as my nose at different times, but I don’t think we went to the doctor. Just a little athletic tape.
loved this! Even though it wasn’t my first choose your own adventure ending, it turned out rather well. Maybe now I will finally be able to figure out who all your siblings are with that photo to reference
your mom is so witty and charming.
i guess we now know where you get if from.
I really like your interview posts. You should totally be the next Oprah.
I’m one of six kids, which is less than eight, but you’re right about not really having an answer to the big family question. It’s all you know, and being so used to it, I didn’t think it was big.
i loved this post. and i love your mom. almost makes me want to have 6 more kids…almost.
Jesse, I’m really sorry we didn’t take you to the dr., but fingers and noses don’t limit mobility too much and it sure didn’t hurt your good looks. If any of your siblings read this, could they come forward with forgotten broken bones so we can have an actual count, please?
Very nice. If you need to be a Ghost Writer for someone who had that screwed up childhood you were looking for, give me a call. I think my family’s dysfunction could be viewed on Dr. Phil. Oprah & a Lifetime made-for-TV movie. Seriously. Let’s talk.
Awwww, that made me miss you mom all over again.
I have to tell you, I am so glad you wrote this. I always loved hanging out at your house with your family. I’ve always had nothing but admiration for your mom and dad! I think I’ve told you before that I was always amazed at the things that your mom would let us do around your house. Do you remember when she let us use some scrap material, and we made our own skirts and wore them to school the next day? I don’t think we owned a sewing machine at my house! Also, the day we used a refrigerator box to make a space shuttle in your back yard?! We had a lot of fun times!
I laughed out loud about the the saying on the T-shirt – so funny!
I also enjoyed the comment about going to California & the looks people give you when you have a large family. I am the oldest of 6 kids. I totally remember those California trips & dreaded going to any restaurant on vacation w/ my family. Everyone there seemed to be counting heads as we walked through the door.
I hope my kids have good memories as they reflect back on their growing up years! (broken bones and all) Linda, you are hilarious! You sure did something right with those kids of yours!
Wow. I have five brothers and two sisters, too. My family doesn’t look as cool as your family, though. That’s how I know that we must be different people, even though we seem to have grown up with parallel lives.
this is such a great post! i’m going to direct people here when they ask me what it’s like growing up with so many brothers and sisters.
i have three. four, including me. yeesh.
and re: the octuplets and other famous big families… i find them somewhat creepy. especially that family featured on 18 Kids and Counting on TLC. there’s something about them that’s so… squeaky clean.
i guess they’re most likely getting screwed in the writer department, as well. come on – there’s not a hair out of place on those kids!
Sounds like an idyllic upbringing. We only had 3 kids in my family and I always wished there were more. Do you intend to have such a large family? Cause you better get busy. Like 6 embryos busy.
I’m just now catching up on the blogs that I read, so I’m late getting to this, but: this was so awesome. Thanks for writing it, really.
Ahh, yes, I was the one who had a broken bone that did go to the doctor. Remember, Dave decided it would be a good idea to let me sit on his feet as he laid on the floor on his back. Then he would launch me high in the air. Well, it was great fun until one time I came down headfirst instead of feet first. No wonder I’m always paranoid like crazy when my boys roughhouse.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane.