Memo From the Department of Homeland Security

November 10th, 2008

TO: President of the United States of America
FROM: Secretary of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security

RE: Borders 100% Secured!!!

Mr. President, I’m happy to report that our borders are now 100% secure. Ever since we got the great idea to put the people from Costco who check the membership cards on duty at the borders, we have had absolutely no illegal immigration into the United States. As an added bonus, they are also checking all exports with a bright pink highlighter.

Our only regret is that we didn’t think of it sooner.

10 Responses to “Memo From the Department of Homeland Security”

  1. Rosie says:

    Excellent plan!!

  2. melanie says:

    genius!

  3. autumn says:

    Funny, funny.

  4. rychelle says:

    excellent plan!

    those receipt checkers are fierce.

  5. shannon says:

    I really think that could work! Why hasn’t anyone thought of this sooner – Tiffany, our country needs you!

  6. Tiburon says:

    I never understood the point of the door checkers.

    You can’t buy anything without the card – so why check it when you come in? Afraid that a non-member will partake of the samples?

    I no understand.

  7. Jesse says:

    Never underestimate the intimidation factor of a pink highlighter.

  8. mindi says:

    yes, but do they make a SMILEY FACE with the pink highlighter when they check? because that is a highly important part of the process according to mia.

  9. Vanessa says:

    I’m glad that such a letter was created. Maybe the government secretly stalks your blog and uses its suggestions. Remember Max solving the energy crisis with his drawing? Stellar.

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