the would-be writers guild

*Our home office is 87.3% put together, complete with his and hers desks. On Mondays we both work in here together, which makes me feel like Jim and Pam. Except that when I answer the phone I say, “I HATE YOU COMCAST, WHY CAN’T YOU GET IT RIGHT?!” Even if it’s not Comcast calling.

*Christian was reading this blog the other day and said, “I only like to read the stuff about me. Why haven’t you written any stuff about me?” I looked him square in the eye and said, “Well, son, I guess you just haven’t been funny enough lately.”

*I didn’t really say that.

*Here’s something about Christian. One of the neighbor moms told us that she has a crush on Christian. She said, “You know how you can just look at some kids and you just know that they’re good? I can tell that about him.” I thanked her and told her she was right. Ryan asked her if she is a pedophile.

*Yes, he did.

*Wait, was that about Christian or Ryan? Here’s something (really) about Christian: The other day he came home announcing that he’d picked the person whose biography he would be studying for a special dress-as-a-historical-figure activity later in the year—none other than Benedict Arnold. He didn’t know anything about him, and after I shared what little I did know, he schlumped his shoulders and said, “I can’t believe I’m supposed to be the guy who traited against America.”

*I think I’m killing my curls. Too much flat iron, I suppose. For three days, I’ve tried to wear my hair curly in what I’m referring to as The Curl Recovery Program. I tenderly dry it and massage curl-intensifier products into it, but it still looks like it’s suffering from nuclear war. Today I showed it a picture of Clay Aiken and cried, “It’s okay, just be yourself!” And you know something? It looks a little better.

*I’ve been doing Pilates twice a week at one of the neighbor’s houses. Somehow or other, the conversation (amidst huffing, puffing, and groaning) almost always turns to politics. I swear, it’s like The View in stretch pants.

*The other day I realized that I haven’t watched David Letterman since we moved here. What the?

*Loads of intense and frustrating work this week. I could not be happier that it’s Friday. The only thing that would make me happier is if Comcast actually fixed our cable correctly. Which, as we all know, is virtually impossible.

*I have an idea floating around my brain for all you creative writers out there, or you would-be writers or grocery-list writers for that matter. I think it could be really fun, but I’ll have to tell you about it later.

*Have a wonderful weekend, wherever you are.