Sometimes I feel so bad for the family who lives with the dark-haired, bearded Oxy Clean guy. I mean, can you imagine life on a daily basis living with a man who cheerfully speaks at full volume and in ALL CAPS all the time?
Every morning:
“GOOD MORNING, HONEY! RISE AND SHINE! WHY ARE YOU HOLDING THE PILLOW OVER YOUR HEAD? WAS I TALKING IN MY SLEEP AGAIN? OH NO!”
At Breakfast:
“THESE EGGS ARE AMAZING! I’VE NEVER HAD EGGS LIKE THIS! LOOK AT HOW QUICKLY I CAN EAT THESE EGGS! I’VE LICKED MY PLATE CLEAN IN LESS THAN TEN SECONDS AND BECAUSE I BRUSH MY TEETH WITH KABOOM AND OXY CLEAN, I CAN PUT THE PLATE RIGHT BACK INTO THE CUPBOARD!”
To the kids:
“HAVE A GREAT DAY AT SCHOOL, SUZY, AND DON’T FORGET TO CLEAN YOURSELF THOROUGHLY AFTER GYM CLASS! YOUR SWEAT STAINS LAST WEEK TOOK TWO TEASPOONS OF OXY CLEAN TO GET THEM OUT! AND YOU, JUNIOR, DID YOU NOTICE HOW SPARKLING CLEAN YOUR UNDERWEAR WAS THIS MORNING? NO MORE SKID MARKS, THANKS TO YOUR DEAR OLD DAD AND THE POWER OF OXY CLEAN!”
To the dog:
“ROVER! WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS HIDING UNDER THE COUCH WITH YOUR PAWS OVER YOUR EARS? COME OUT HERE AND SHAKE HANDS!”
To his wife:
“I DON’T UNDERSTAND, HONEY! YOU’RE LEAVING ME? I THOUGHT IT WAS MY EXUBERANCE, CLEAR COMMUNICATION, AND STAIN-FIGHTING ABILITIES THAT DREW YOU TO ME!”
Oxy clean guy = instant headache.
ouch, I can’t stand that guy. Is the yelling really necessary?
I have never understood such advertising techniques. I cannot imagine that they are effective.
On the other hand, my heart sort of goes out to him. I mean, obviously, he belongs in the Monster Truck announcer field, but must have missed his calling.
Oxy clean man needs to use his indoor voice.
THIS POST IS HILARIOUS! I FEEL SO HAPPY! (that is fun, I think I will talk like that for the rest of the day for fun.)
I worry cuz I use way too many of these – !!, I am working on it. At least it is not caps and those.
I had to read this post from a distance as to not injure my tender eardrums.
Tiffany – I heart you the most. That made me laugh so hard that I actually had tears streaming down my cheeks – I know some people SAY that they laughed so hard that they cried, when they really didn’t. I did.
Tiff,
It is so great to hear from you! I loved the old pictures of you and Ryan. I can’t believe you are leaving Utah and your kids are so big and Ryan has his Phd. and your house is darling (but I already have a house) and that your hair is straight and that it is blonde. I love your website and I am going to pass it on to Krissy Browning! You are a doll and I miss you and Ryan.
Is it just me or is this man selling everything now?! He has branched out from just Oxyclean and is now taking over all infomercials.
I hope everything is going well with you guys.
I’m fairly sure that guy is not married and never will be. Unless he marries a deaf woman.