Put your behind past you

May 13th, 2008

My mom brought some other pictures with her Sunday night, and since I don’t have time to write about my two-day marathon at the DMV or about my garage door that has become posessed with a menacing, tricky demon, I will share those with you know. Prepare to say, “Awwwww.”

Here is yours truly and Dr. Ryan (he DEMANDS that I call him that now!) (Just kidding!) when we were but wee high-schoolers headed to the prom.

Adorable then, adorable now

Things to notice:
1. Yes, that is a farmer’s tan on my arm.
2. Yes, my bangs are curled perfectly, like a surfer’s dream.
3. The background is my parent’s living room. My mom is not much of a white-wall person anymore. Before the white walls, there was some pretty trippy 70s gold and blue wallpaper on those walls, so it’s easy to understand why the white paint became necessary. To calm the nerves.
4. Those sweet smiles on our faces almost disguise the fact that nearly every single day of high school was a living hell for us.
5. My hair was very long.
6. Even at this age, Ryan believed he was losing his hair.
7. I tilt my head in pictures. I don’t know why. Weak neck muscles?

And this picture has always been a favorite of mine:

I love this photo

Things to notice:
1. The flash didn’t go off, which gave this great silhouette.
2. If you stick your ear up to the screen and listen closely, you can hear Ryan thanking heaven that he bought a wrist corsage instead of the kind that has to be awkwardly attached to the girl’s dress, dangerously near the breastage area, especially standing in the presence of the girl’s parents.

After pictures and flower-attaching, we headed off to the prom in first-class style.

The funeral home limo

Things to notice/consider:
1. The limo belonged to the local funeral home.
2. Which I think is a wonderful symbol of our high school experience.
3. Check out the cool, circular manicured bush in my neighbor’s yard. One time when my family was having a gathering, these neighbors left a nasty note on the cars parked in front of their house, demanding that people not park there.
4. We did not bake a lot of cookies for those neighbors over the years.
5. The house in the upper left corner belonged to a family who had a beloved little dog that was eaten by our large, not-nearly-as-beloved dog. Not good. My mom claims that after our dog killed and ate a wayward chicken, he never got over his taste for blood.
5. Our dog’s name was Edward.
6. No it wasn’t.
7. We didn’t bake cookies for those neighbors either, because we could feel their hatred repelling us from several yards away.

See? Wasn’t that more interesting than reading about how I saw local TV personality Craig Bolerjack at the DMV? OK, it probably wasn’t.

13 Responses to “Put your behind past you”

  1. Shauna says:

    You were too cute in that first picture. Craig Bolerjack is a hottie don’t you agree?

  2. Suzie says:

    Um. Where do I start? I had comments all the way through your post and now I’m wordless.
    Oh, here’s a word.
    AAWWWWWEESSOMMMMME.

    seriously.

  3. The bang curl. Remember how many hours we Bang Curlers spent trying to perfect that, and how often there were just a few little hairs that didn’t cooperate, or a piece that got stuck in the curling iron wrong and flapped out to the side?

    You two are so cute, it’s almost not fair.

  4. Soul Fusion says:

    I suddenly feel like maybe I might remember seeing Ryan in high school . . . or maybe that is just how I remember boys looking in the early 90s.
    And the limo . . . wow.
    And please tell me you talked to Boler (we’re tight like that) about the Jazz’s chances tomorrow night.
    And fianlly, at least your bangs weren’t perfectly curled to match your date’s . . . I might need to dig out my prom picture to prove that one.

  5. Tim says:

    re: #5, I think Edward was actually the name of the guy who did the shrubs.

  6. mindi says:

    okay, that is definitely my favorite post written by any single person in the month of may, which would be considered quite an honor in some small, third world countries.

    i’m so glad to see that someone else had spectacular bangs besides myself in the 80’s….

    bravo, tiffany. BRAVO!

  7. Rosie says:

    I loved this post (and NOT just because it had no pictures of me in it!)

    I’m so glad you two have each other!

    p.s., mom’s living room sure has come a long way, eh?

  8. Kami says:

    I love looking back. How fun for both of you to still be together to remember the good old days – together. I love everything about all the pictures – the bangs, the head tilt, the limo!

  9. Becky says:

    you just wanted to say “breastage”!

  10. The Voice of Reason says:

    Is that 1st photo really Ryan or was it when you went out with Ted Bundy??? Did Ryan ever have a Volkswagen?

  11. annie says:

    I’m still enjoying my laugh. The limo is awesome!

  12. Arianne says:

    That was far more awesome than any story about the DMV could have been. I seriously love that you guys had the funeral limo.

  13. Tiburon says:

    See, sometimes you just gotta put it out there so you can move on. LOVE the bangs, and the Edward comment made me laugh out loud. :)

RSS feed for comments on this post. And trackBack URL.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.