Today, amidst all the froof and wooing and declarations of everlasting love, I dare you to do something totally wild: Be your own valentine.
That’s right. You. (And me.) I dare you to sit down and write yourself a letter that is for your eyes only. And in the letter, write a nice full page (or twenty) of all the things you love and admire about yourself. Don’t allow one word of criticism or self-deprecation. Be bold and brazen in your love.
Allow yourself to exaggerate if you feel so inclined (after all, we tend to do that with other people we love). Go ahead. It’s not that big of a deal and nobody has to know about it. You know you want to, but you probably don’t know that you should.
I’m giving you this idea because I noticed something about myself the other day that I think is very much a widespread epidemic these days. In a quiet moment, in between tasks, I realized that I gave myself a quick message. Something to the tune of, My gosh, you look crappy today. I looked in a mirror and I was totally right. Then later, in another quiet millisecond, I heard another quick word from deep inside, You’re so lazy. Look at all that needs to be done. I looked around and I was right. There was a lot that needed to be done, and I had no energy left.
And before I knew it, I began asking the little voice in my head its opinion about everything:
Do these jeans make my butt look big? Oh my. YES!
I’m never going to get organized, am I? Never! You’re a slob!
Nobody appreciates me, do they? Nope. Not now. Not ever.
I’m never going to lose these ten pounds, am I? I can’t stop eating. You disgust me.
Well, you get the idea. My conversations with myself were beginning to sound like those two old men from the Muppet Show.
So several days ago, I decided to stop. I took one of my many notebooks and I wrote three pages of good things about myself. As I was writing, I decided to get crazy and write good things about myself that weren’t even accurate. It became a list of everything I am and everything I hope to be. When I was done, I started to re-read it and totally cringed. Yeah, riiiiight. said the voice in my head.
“Shut up.” I said.
The next day I made a new, although shorter list.
And the next day another one.
And for some totally un-related reason, I found myself more chipper. More like myself.
And then when I had a quiet moment, after reaching for a candy that I didn’t need to eat, I stopped the voice in my head and thought, “I am stunningly beautiful.” And then I think I set the candy down. I don’t remember for sure, I was too busy blushing.
I learned the power of self-love many, many years ago. And I believe in its power. And I also believe that you cannot accept anybody else’s love without being completely accepting and appreciative of your own. I’m not sure why I lost touch with my self-love. I probably wasn’t making much of an effort, and (as if I haven’t mentioned it five billion times) the ground under my feet is almost literally shifting with the major life changes ahead. I’ve been a little imbalanced.
So today, no matter who you are or how many dozens of roses do or do not don your dining table, take a moment to do something nice for yourself. You (and everybody around you) will thank you for it!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Ooh, this is one fantastic post, and one I really need to listen to today. I’ve been having one of those days where the “you look terrible” and “you are so lazy” are really winning out. Now I know what I’m doing in my quiet house tonight. Thanks, Tiffany.
I also believe that you cannot accept anybody else’s love without being completely accepting and appreciative of your own
YES YES YES!!! I have had this same philosophy for years now. It’s when this thought hit me that my adolescence finally made sense. For all those years I never liked myself & although others tried to like me I could never feel it because I wasn’t accepting of myself.
I think I might have to do this exercise, although I know it will not be easy
whoa–sorry. I didn’t mean for that whole thing to be in bold.
But, then again, I’m a bold person…and people like me
This is a wonderful idea, something I probably need to do right now. Thanks!
Thanks for your post Tiff. I am taking your challenge because everything else you have ever challenged me to do before has ended up changing my life for the better. Now stop listening to that snotty little voice in your head! It’s just jealous of the beautiful, multi-talented, loving person that you are! Happy Valentine’s Day to you too! And thanks again for the chocolate! Yum!
You are the Best! I too needed that today. Self pitty of a lonely Valentines (that 1 night buisness trip ironically was tonight?)
Thanks for that, Mind if I share it EVERYWHERE?
what a lovely lovey idea!!! that’s a fabulous idea.
Wow, great post and something I think we all need. I am getting out my notebook right now.
Thanks Tiff I was feeling a bit selfish for thinking I am a neat gal and I do have a pretty smile. Oh and my eyes, they seem to say “I’ll listen and I really do care, come visit with me.” I am a great friend.
I LOVE this idea. Isn’t that the whole meaning of today? LOVE. I love your idea and your bright, energetic, beautiful self. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Fabulous idea!
Yes, a great idea, even if I’d probably be too embarrassed to do it myself. My letter would go something like “You know what’s so great about you, Simon? You’re really…uh…tall”.
Thanks Tiffany! This is a really great idea and something I really need to do–but don’t know how to even start. I guess I could start with the fact that I have very delicate ankles…
Bravo!!!
I like you, I really like you.
I am doing it today, thank you.
What a great idea! I am going to try it.
Tiff- that was an awesome post… thank you so much for reminding us all not to get too caught up in criticism. I judge myself harshly so often without even being aware of it, mentally and in writing. Starting today my journal will be filled instead with all the wonderful things about me!
this is beautiful! Hopefully I will have a minute to do this soon because I think I am far too ready to jump on the self-critical band wagon than into the world of “Wow! I’m Amazing!” Happy belated V-Day to you!
p.s. I made it about half-way through this sometime around 3 am in the midst of my all night Valentine’s work-a-thon and it perked me up with a couple of much-needed laughs.
I’m rather fond of my wrists.
What?? You mean that voice is really me? Oh, that’s great news, because generally I’m a very sweet, supportive, forgiving, tolerant person. Hmmm, . . . on second thought, I don’t think that’s my voice in my head, because that voice is WAY too harsh and critical. Maybe I could get an appointment with Ryan??