I definitely don’t want to know in advance when I am going to die. This is something I have found out about myself over the last seven days. It would not be good for me or anybody around me. I’ll be a giant goober and not much fun at all. Let’s all keep our fingers crossed that I’ll just be hit by a bus. When I’m 104. Don’t forget that last part.
I have just spent my last Christmas in Utah. Gulp. I wish I hadn’t known it would be my last. I wouldn’t have sat so quietly during all the parties and festivities holding back tears and listening to everybody talk and laugh, knowing that in years to come we’ll only be in partial attendance at best. This is totally, undeniably the WORST time of year to make the decision to move away from “home.”
It’s not that I don’t want to go. Actually—and much to my own surprise—I feel amazingly calm and equally excited about our end-of-summer move. I think it’s going to be great. I’m thrilled for Ryan. I’m excited to discover a new place and find all the great spots to have a picnic, figure out which bakery bakes the best bread, and where to pick up unique gifts. I’m excited to learn new gossip in a new neighborhood, and lie in bed in August with the windows open and learn the sounds of summer there.
But, I also know that there will be many days when I will be loading the dishwasher or working on a new catalog and I will suddenly miss my family and friends with an ache that can’t be remedied with a phone call or e-mail. Which is why I’m going to start using hard drugs now so that I will know what I’m doing then to adequately dull the pain.
I kid, I kid.
I’ve actually turned to vacuuming and home organization to cope. I realized today that because I feel like my life is somewhat out of control right now, I am attempting to control what I can. So, I gave my closet an Extreme Organizational Makeover yesterday. I sorted, discarded, and/or neatly arranged each article of clothing. Today I tore apart Christian’s room, assembled three new bookshelves, bought new bedding, and dusted every nook and cranny. I also cleaned and reorganized the laundry room. Tomorrow? I’m planning to alphabetize my pantry, then disinfect and polish my smoke alarms.
I am grateful that I will be getting a clean house out of this emotional roller coaster ride, but I’m really wishing I could have just come down with a good, old-fashioned eating disorder.
I kid, I kid.
Sort of.
first of all. come over. i’m SO in need of some organization help around here. second. sorry. moving IS hard. it’s also exciting, but it’s so hard to be away from family. which is why i stalk and follow my parents wherever they move. but as you know, you will be fine. you will be GREAT, in fact. thank goodness for e-mail and blogs and texting and unlimited minutes.
sounds so bitter-sweet! the best of luck with your new adventutes! keep us up with it here!
When we moved away, I think I cried for the first three hours of the drive. I won’t lie…its not easy, but it is SO fun to be able to come visit for a week and spend all your time with people you love. You don’t really get to do that when you live in the same city.
Also, I LOVE having people come stay at our house. You will live for the next visitor. When can you have your friends and family stay with you when you live in the same city?
This will be such a great experience for you and your cute little family. You will be missed!!!
Like Natalie said, thank goodness for blogs, cuz I’m really going to miss you guys.
Just like on Finding Nemo when Dori says “Just keep swimming”…”Just Keep Blogging” That might help with the transition. Good luck with the move.
I so know how you feel. Ok, I know in a smaller sense. When we moved out of our little house in I.F. I thought my heart was going to break. Seriously. It was the only home I could remember and I knew everyone in our ward. And I do mean every. single. one. But it was such a good experience for me to step out my comfort zone and actually be the “new girl” for a change. Looking back, I used to be such a stuck up brat to the new kids in the ward, so it was definetly a learning experience for that to be switched. It was really hard at first to learn to love our new home and ward, but now I wouldn’t go back and change it for the world. Sorry for the super long comment. I’m going to miss you guys so much! You should totally come and visit before you leave.
I’m so proud of you and Ryan. Just go for it! You will broaden your world and the people you love. We will learn to use the webcam so we can watch the boys grow up by tiny increments instead of not recognizing them when you come to visit. And that better be often! But, hey, it’s not even January yet. Do we have to talk about it right now?
It makes me cry just reading about your leaving. Anyway, I agree with your mom. Let’s not talk about it yet.
Changes are AWFUL. And I am FREQUENTLY glad that I don’t know when or how I’m going to die – although I’d have a certain amount of anxiety removed if I found out that it was going to be when I was 97.
I must admit that I’m happy I didn’t realize this! I would have felt much the same way.
I know your fam is going to miss you as much as you’ll miss them. I daresay you might be the life of the party, and I know you have good competition for such a spot!
Don’t want to think about it right now! Will savor what time is left. I’ve never had a desire to go to Delaware before but it is definitely has a big draw now.
Tiff, don’t worry about it. We moved 15 miles south, around the point of the mountain, and people act like that’s soooo far! I’m just saying 15 miles, 15,000 miles, or even farther, there’s this thing that is called the telephone, that we tend to use more than visits anyway. Not that we won’t miss you guys, but it is such a great opportunity, plus we can’t wait to hear of all your adventures!!!
looks like I’m in the minority about being EXCITED for your upcoming move . . . can’t wait to have you in a neighboring state!!