Poor Lucy Lohan. I think she was born without taste buds. (There’s a rumor that her great uncle was part goat.)
First she was into nicotine. (You can read about it here.)
Now she’s into the hard stuff.
No, not drugs. Quite literally, the hard stuff: small plastic toys, shoelaces, cotton balls, lids to pens, credit cards, tea lights, nickels, dimes, 3-D glasses, crayons, toenail clippings, and used band-aids. (I can only verify four of these items, but the others are being considered under suspicion.)
Yesterday she seemed morose, which is hard for a sort-of-depressed-looking dog to manage anyway. (My maternal instinct told me that she didn’t feel good.)
Today she threw up. (What’s that you say? You don’t want to read about throw up?)
And I cleaned it up. (See? That was painless.)
Then she threw up again. (Seriously, it bothers you to read about this?)
And she ate it before I could clean it up. (Oh, come on! Like you haven’t done that!)
Then she threw up again. (OK, just hang on. I’m almost to the important part.)
I got to her before she went back for seconds and put her away. When I went back to clean it up, I noticed that inside the gooey doggy yark was a four-inch-long piece of rope from one of her chew toys. The rope is at least an inch in diameter. The rope was in one piece. (Unfortunately, I couldn’t find my camera with my hands full of goopy throw up, or I’d prove it. I would have taken the picture of the rope next to a ruler. You’ll just have to take my word for it.)
Two hours later, she pooped out another two-inch piece of rope. (If you’re so disgusted, why are you still reading this?)
Strangely, she seems to be feeling much better. (What? You don’t feel like eating now? Ever again?)
While this was all happening, I was on the phone with my friend Kathy (Have I ever mentioned my superior multi-tasking abilities?) and she told me about the time her elderly grandpa made a startling noise and then hocked a giant loogie right onto the ground. (Did you know that you can look up the correct spelling and meaning of “loogie” in Wikipedia?)
Her dog immediately ran over and ate it right up. (What? Couldn’t you see that one coming from a mile away?)
Anyway, just thought you’d like to know.
Ugh! This is why there is a “Free to good home” ad for our dog in the paper right now. Anyone interested? To my knowledge, she has never thrown up.
I’ll have you know that not only did I read your disgusting tale in it’s entirety BUT I did it while eating breakfast. (no rope, sorry)
Lucky she didn’t choke to death, my goodness… like a snake whose ribs contract to swallow things whole. wow. I am impressed…
Also, while I’m at it: quite impressed with you. My dog is one of those “sensitive stomach” breeds and throws up fairly regularly. She is a Golden Retriever so she not only weighs a hundred pounds, but typically vomits about 8 pounds of nastiness which I gag my weight through while i A) try not to vomit myself, because I will have to clean that up too and B)contemplate quiting to breathe…
my dog once threw up an entire volleyball. Yes, 1 whole volleyball (it was deflated). I’m not the biggest fan of puking stories but for some reason this is one my family tends to repeat – with a lot of laughter while the dog just looks a bit embarrassed about the whole thing.
Hmmm, let me think. Did I need yet another reason not to own a dog? … Nope.
Thanks anyway.
Poor Lucy! The pain and regret she must feel after binging on that rope! We must provide her with our non-judgmental love and support. She needs US now. I’ll be over Thursday night to spend some precious time with her — if you let her up the stairs.
Yuk!!!!!!!!!!!! Why did I read to the end? The two dogs I grew up with never did those kinds of things they only ate people occasionally.
not so gross to read, too gross to experience. no dogs here.
I have only one thing to say: *gag* EEEEWWWW!*gag*
Poor puppy…poor you for having to clean it up!
Poor paparazzi-starved pup. I bet that’s why she’s resorting to plastics and whatnot. Careful of the pen lids and shiz…they can get caught in their little intestines and cause blockage, which ultimately leads to an untimely death. I speak from a friends experience. Not mine.
Yep. Moms can tell when their kids are sick. It’s in the eyes. And those puppy eyes are a dead givaway. Glad she’s not dead and please don’t give her away. I’ve kind of grown to like her too.