I had no intention of going to IKEA yesterday. I knew it would be pandemonium. I figured I’d get there in July or maybe in October when the thrill had worn off a little. I wasn’t going. I’d been to an IKEA before. I had things to do.
Until Alison called and we decided to go.
Ryan came home from work with the stomach flu, a little gift we’ve been passing to each other this week at our house. So I figured the kindest thing I could do for him would be to take the kids out and buy containers and lamps and pictures to hang on our walls. I guess you could say I’m devoted and thoughtful like that.
Andrea rode with me, and as we were driving she (who had never been to IKEA before) was wondering out loud why she was coming. “I don’t need anything,” she said, “and isn’t it all modern style? This is probably a waste.” I tried to reassure her that there would be something she’d like.
We walked in, got our carts and began the mass pilgrimage through the showroom. It wasn’t until Andrea picked up a yellow box of 10 AA batteries for $2.99 that her interests were piqued.
“This is a good deal,” she said and put one in her cart.
When we saw the little pink desk chair, she was officially interested.
By the time we reached the cafeteria, she was delirious.
“I LOVE IKEA,” she said as we ate our poached salmon and red potatoes. (Take THAT, food court chicken nuggets!)
I have to laugh, because I, the veteran on my second trip to one of the giant blue buildings, had such a similar experience when James and DeDe took me to the Phoenix store last January. I thought it would be fun to see, but didn’t think there would much that I would have to have. Until I held a $6.99 stainless steel salad bowl.
Alison, who met us there for her third trip that day, called to see where we were. I told her we were near the $159 iron bed she’d been considering since her second trip, and she really showed off her IKEA prowess when she found us within five minutes. I have to say, I was nothing short of totally awestruck. I couldn’t have told you where we were in the building for all the inexpensive furniture in the world.
I finally exited the building around 9:30 p.m., after nearly three hours of wandering, gazing, munching, meandering, considering, imagining, and asking my kids to please shut up because mommy was in Good Deal Land. I pushed our heavy cart out to the car, parked beyond the parking lot in the bumpy dirt field. I suddenly felt a kinship with the settlers of the Salt Lake Valley, many of them mothers, pushing heavy handcarts across the very same dirt toward their new home. I bet they were asking their kids to please stop whining, telling them that they were almost done, and promising them Skittles if they’d be good just a little longer.
And if those mothers could see us today; if they could see how far we’ve come and how much has grown from their tireless work; if they could look into the big blue bags in my cart and see the glass spaghetti noodle canister, they’d have only one thing to say:
“Holy crap, we got screwed.”
You are soooo funny! I’ve never been to IKEA, but it is always talked about in excited, nearly reverential tones. I’ll have to check it out someday, when James is making a doctor’s salary. I’m sure I could find lots of stuff that I “need”.
Too funny. I have to tell you that the crowds don’t die down. We have has an Ikea for three years and it is ALWAYS packed. Regardless of the day or time. I am kindof sad that SLC has and IKEA, now no one will come visit us
I’m shocked that I didn’t see you there last night. After all there were only a million or so people. However as I walked to my car across the same bumpy dirt road my thoughts weren’t with the poor pioneers. They were lovingly with my cinnamon rolls that I couldn’t wait to eat. Oh, and my new garlic press. You are hilarious!
I like that all of the wheels on their carts can rotate. It makes you feel like your cart is sliding across the floor instead of rolling. Their cheap cinamon rolls and icream and hot dogs are sweet too.
Leslie, when are you coming out again to visit? We’ll go.
DeDe, I’ll still come visit you no matter how many IKEAS we get.
Katie, I can’t believe we didn’t run into each other. I’m glad you got your garlic press.
James, I love the carts too. They give you the sensation of magically floating about the store. (As if I needed more magical sensations!)
So funny! I’m thinking of experiencing the UT Ikea this weekend. Excited to take my husband, as he’s never experienced Ikea before! Love going with newbies.
Ha! You are hilarious. I actually laughed out loud. But, you have officialy made me SO excited to get out to IKEA. Woohoo!
I can’t wait to hear Aunt Roslyns experience to IKEA. Although, look for her on the front row in the parking lot. She’s one step ahead of everyone, and will borrow Grandma’s handicap parking pass!
Tiff, I have a handicap parking pass and that is the only way I will ever get to IKEA. Your title was great. Keep up the good writing. See you Sat.
holy crud i am soooooo jealous. i have been begging ethan to go with me on saturday. i’ve arranged a babysitter and packed an overnight bag for the trip from the parking lot to the store.
i may never come home again.
You are soo funny. I love every title you think up. They are nearly as good as reading your blog. Actually, they are as good, they just go by so quickly.
I am just going to have to retire so I will have enough time to read all of the blogs. They are all so fun to read and you started it all. You are all blessed with your Mother’s talent with words. I am so glad I married her and that you inherited that talent. The world is a better place because of it.
Dad
sadly, I am still an Ikea virgin. I know, I don’t even have the excuse of not living near one. Although I do have the excuse of not owning a car but I think people make it work somehow. But being in SLC during the buzz of opening weekend made me feel like I really am missing out on something. As my plane landed at Newark airport Tuesday night, I looked out the window and there in bright blue and yellow lettering was Ikea – I think I heard it calling my name.
I’m a bit late to the party, BUT this is the funniest post on IKEA I have ever read. It took me a beat to figure out some of the names, but once I did, I couldn’t stop laughing: http://www.davidlebovitz.com/archives/2007/04/je_craquepour_l_1.html