Dear ask a psychologist’s wife,
Today I am working in a store with a glass front. It is a very slow day, and on these slow days I often spend hours gazing out the glass at the steady stream of cars passing by. The reason for this is two-fold, but that really doesn’t pertain to the question to be asked, and as reluctant as I am to admit this, it isn’t always about me, so we will pleasantly place my motivations aside and focus on the bizarre behaviors of others. Twice this morning I have witnessed deep-digging nose-picking by drivers passing my store. It is important to reiterate here that the traffic is a steady stream-which would indicate that other drivers are also witnessing this nasal probing as well. I think it’s pretty obvious what my question is: if these people can’t find a tissue to pick their noses with where the heck are they putting the fruits of their labors??????
Seriously curious,
Discrete Groomer
Dear Discrete Groomer,
I will answer your perplexing question with a riddle:
What is the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Answer: Some people won’t eat broccoli.
For better or worse, you have been witness to one of the most amazing phenomenons–humans who believe they are invisible because they are enclosed in a car. The anonymity of being one of many cars on the road allows the driver to expose inner yearnings, normally kept latent by things like good manners and a respect for other people’s susceptibility to nausea. Yearnings such as singing with passion, cutting people off on the way to church, using words they can’t even say on HBO, giving the middle finger its moment in the spotlight, and finally, nose-picking.
For you, I would recommend two things: First, pop some popcorn and enjoy the show. Second, when buying a used car, take a flashlight and thoroughly inspect the underside of the driver seat.
Best wishes,
PW
